(2023)
That night i went out to vent my tiredness. Tired of living, tired mind, tired feeling, tired… tired… and essentially very tired (exhausted). Using a motorbike and the TWS that i use when driving accompanied by playlists that i have compiled on Spotify that describe my feelings (actually a bad example of riding a motorbike while listening to music). In fact at some point that night i felt angry, annoyed, disappointed.
Suddenly i sat limp on the motorbike near the Tugu Yogyakarta (Yogyakarta Monument). I saw a small child at a traffic light. The child holding the newspaper did not appear to be playing happily. Didn’t seem to be having fun. But also doesn’t seem sad. I felt embarrassed. Until i realized that, as a human being, i was not always alone. Apparently i’m not the only human in this world. Crazy how all of the people have their own life story.
Since then, i have had the habit of watching people, observing, scanning people, analyzing people, stargazing, or whatever you want to call it. When i have certain feelings of sadness, nervous, tired, disappointed, hard to explain, the way is “taking photos”. I was confused about what to call this activity. Flaneur? i don’t think so, because i have a goal to go out to see passerby. Or, is it called sonder? how our life is meaningful when we see passerby when we go out. From there, sooner or later i understand that i am not alone, as a human being, i am not alone. My emotions share other emotions as well.
Therefore, this photo book was born. An emotional journey for me to understand that being a human being is not easy, but at the same time it is not impossible. Because being human it’s always what we want to be. The process of becoming a human being day by day.
EXHIBITION
- Indonesian Photobook Exhibition by Gueari Gallery (Singapore, Berlin, London) 2023
- Jakarta Art Book Fair 2023
- “Hybridity” Exhibition 2023